Catechetical Newsletter

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Partnering With Families           
by Dan Mulhall

The sociological research that appears in Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers by Christian Smith and Melina Lundquist Denton (2005) reveals that the beliefs and values of teenagers reflect their parent's beliefs and values. The most effective way to shape the beliefs of children and young people is to shape the beliefs, attitudes, and practices of their parents.
 
While parents send their children to us to educate, their responsibility doesn't end there. Instead, by sending us their children, they enter into a partnership with us. On our side, we promise to provide the best instructional and formational experiences. On the parent's side, they promise to raise their children in a Catholic home, where the faith is lived and God is loved. As part of this agreement, parents need to understand that what we teach will only be learned "by heart" if they help the children practice their faith at home, especially the practice of prayer and worship.
 
Parents often don't know what it means to provide a Catholic home for their children, so be prepared to provide them with a list of simple things that they can do with their children. This list might include such activities as praying with the children before and after meals and at bedtime, having one meal a week as a family with the TV and e-machines off and time reserved for family stories. Be prepared also to provide the parents with support-for example, the prayers they should say-so they can do these simple things well.
 
Catechists frequently complain that parents have developed a consumer understanding of what a parish or school should do. In reality, education and faith formation don't work that way. The parents' role is too essential. 
 
In order to change this attitude we have to work to establish a partnership with parents. When parents sign their children up for a sport or for music instruction, they make a commitment to do whatever it takes for the child to develop and grow. We have to help them understand that they are making a similar commitment when they send their child to a Catholic school or to religious instruction in the parish. We will do our part well but their part is just as important.
 
On our end we have to examine the way that we think about the parent's role in the faith formation. How do we empower them to fulfill that role? Can we create activities and approaches where parental involvement is essential to the success of our work? We must remember that parental involvement can't be limited to finding ways for them to volunteer to help us do what we want done. No, these have to be new ways for parents, teachers, and catechists to work closely together in a partnership to bring the children to a life of faith. That's the outcome that will signal a successful partnership.