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Preparation for First Reconciliation:
What's a Parent to Do?
by Jacquie Jambor

Many years ago, a priest friend told of his first experience with second graders and first confessions. The first child who entered the "confessional" began with "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned; this is my first confession." The little boy then continued to list each of the Ten Commandments, saying after each commandment--"zero times." He concluded by saying, "These are the sins of my whole life."

The lesson here is that children require a great deal of preparation for first reconciliation, and furthermore they require ongoing conscience formation. This logically leads us to a discussion of how parents fit into this picture.

Why should parents be part of preparation for Reconciliation?

Because no Catholic school, no parish religion program--no matter how excellent--can accomplish all the immediate goals.
Because no program can accomplish all the long-term goals of ongoing conscience formation and moral development.
Because it is a parent's right and privilege to foster their child's moral development.

How do we foster parent participation?

We provide an environment that is welcoming, inviting, and non-threatening. This is not "school" for parents; it is a gathering of people of faith.
We provide families with skills for communication and discussion of religious and faith issues.
We provide an opportunity for modeling good family dynamics--respectful listening and respect for each individual.
We have reasonable expectations.
We invite parents to do what they do best--share faith. Teaching is not necessarily what parents do best.
We schedule parent/family sessions as conveniently as possible for the participants.

We need to keep in mind that we are preparing children not only for "first" reconciliation, but for a lifetime of asking God's forgiveness and sharing in the sacrament. Parents are key to this, and we need to support and encourage them in carrying out their responsibilities even as children grow older.

Parents need to have a continuing conversation with their children about right and wrong as they continue to grow and mature.
Parents need to ask children at all ages, "What are the temptations in your life?"
Parents must hold their children accountable for their behavior and help them to recognize that actions have consequences.
Parents need to strategize with their children on how to avoid potentially sinful and dangerous situations.
Parents, along with their children, need to participate in the sacrament of Reconciliation on a regular basis.

It is not easy to be a parent in America today, and most of our societal structures are not supportive. The Church has a responsibility not only to children but to their parents as well. We are the Church and we share in that responsibility.