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Sacrament Preparation: An Opportunity to Build Parent* Relations

Recently I reconnected with my best friend from high school. Our friendship took up right where we left off over 17 years ago! Knowing my connection with catechetical ministry, my friend immediately shared a horror story of her son's preparation for Eucharist. The program leader mandated all parents attend two meetings. In a very frustrated tone, my friend explained how she sat through each meeting feeling demeaned and patronized. She said, "It was horrible and put a black cloud over the whole celebration of the sacrament!"

Knowing full well there are two sides to this story--I hear DREs, principals, faith formation coordinators, and teachers complain about parents and their lack of interest, involvement, and participation--I would like to suggest six steps of a pastoral approach to engage and partner with parents during the time of immediate preparation for sacraments.

Remember Pastoral Care
I'll never forget putting together a wonderful sacrament preparation program in a parish where families gathered once a month for catechesis and ritual celebration. It was only after the celebration of the sacrament that I heard from a parent how painful the process had been! When I asked why, she told me that she and her husband were in the midst of a divorce and attending the preparation sessions only seemed to make matters worse. I had put together a program without ever knowing the people involved. It was a painful lesson to learn, but I realized that I had been focused on program implementation instead of pastoral care.
Put Judgment Aside
A good pastoral approach begins with a non-judgmental attitude. Accept people where they are and invite them into a process of deeper reflection on their faith. Provide opportunities for personal conversation and conversion. Schedule an initial interview--10 to 15 minutes--with each family as a part of the sacrament preparation process. Try to spend more time listening.
See Parent and Family Involvement as Integral
Parent involvement is integral to the whole process of catechesis. When a child enters a catechetical program, it is the whole family/household that we catechize. What are the family's hopes, dreams, challenges, questions, concerns, joys? Invite families to reflect on their life issues so they can clearly make a connection between life and faith.
Be a Resource
Depending upon their needs, help network households with resource professionals. For many parents, lack of participation in the life of the church is caused by varying degrees of anger, separation, or guilt. Good pastoral networking will help guide people to the support, healing, or reconciliation they seek. Issues like unemployment, addiction, divorce, financial stresses, etc. can be draining to a family. Have a list of parish, school, and community resources for recommendation and referral. Print and media resources distributed and used with families should reflect family life, not a school classroom setting. Help affirm and build parents' confidence.
Develop a Strong Partnership
Communicate regularly with families in sacrament preparation. Provide options for orientation sessions, family gatherings, and catechesis. Affirm the role of parents as primary religious educators and also clarify the commitment of the parish and school communities. Make a conscious and intentional effort to communicate the goal of sacrament preparation as preparation for a lifetime of celebrating and living out the mission of Christ in the world.
Connect with the Whole Community
"It takes a village to raise a child," and it takes the whole community to initiate members into the fullness of the Catholic tradition. Preparation for sacraments should be a parish affair.

As you evaluate your sacrament preparation for next year, consider the following:

What kind of pastoral care have we been able to provide for families in our sacrament preparation program?
How can we improve?

*Parents, guardians, primary care giver, family, households…
these words are used interchangeably to reflect the diversity of family life.