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Marriage Preparation for Weathering the Storms
By Mary Beth Jambor

As I sit down to write, I am not quite sure when my husband will return home again. No, we did not have an argument. He is a volunteer firefighter. Yesterday afternoon, he responded to a tornado touchdown about 2 miles from our house. In a small town of less than 7000 people, hundreds of families have lost their homes. One family lost a very young child.

Unfortunately, most of us have learned from experience the lesson that life as we know it can change in an instant—health issues, job loss, death, and natural disasters. We’ve all weathered our share of storms. Then as the clouds slowly begin to part, if we are lucky, we may have a spouse to whom we can say, “I am so fortunate to be married to you. We are stronger together than we would be alone.”

Marriage preparation is an opportunity for parishes to help engaged couples enter into marriage with the attitudes and skills that help create a strong marriage. A strong marriage is as essential to day-to-day life as it is to weathering life’s storms. According to statistics, 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce. Of those, the majority are terminated within the first five years. But the good news is that couples who participate in a marriage preparation program can increase their odds for success by 30%.

The argument for the importance marriage preparation is broadly supported. I am not sure what the policy is in other states, but the state of Minnesota encourages marriage preparation by implementing financial consequences. Couples who participate in at least 12 hours of premarital education get a $70 discount on their marriage license! A recent survey showed that 90% of college age young adults believe that marriage preparation is important. Yet, only about 30% of engaged couples participate in even one to two hours of marriage preparation.

When Pope Benedict XVI visited the United States in April, he talked with our bishops about the current state of marriage and the family. He emphatically challenged the bishops and those of us who minister to families and engaged couples to improve our pastoral care. The Catholic Church is sacramental, celebrating seven sacraments. Most parishes have elaborate preparation programs for Confirmation, First Eucharist and First Reconciliation. We diligently recruit and train catechists and meticulously choose curriculum. We incorporate parents and sponsors and emphasize their role in encouraging the children to live the sacraments. Pope Benedict XVI challenges us to do to same for couples preparing fore the Sacrament of Marriage.

How can parishes help couples prepare for the lifelong commitment of marriage?
• Implement a marriage preparation curriculum . Use a multiple class session or weekend retreat format.
• Connect newly married couples with a mentor couples. The mentor couples can keep the newly married couples connected to the parish as well as encourage them to practice the skills and they learned during marriage preparation.
• Provide programs for families with very young children. Making the wonderful transition from couple to family can be stressful. A parish can help families with similar values connect with and support one another.
• Implement a family life curriculum that teaches children about the skills and virtues needed for Christian family living and places human sexuality within the context of Catholic moral life.
• Contact your local diocesan office to find out what resources may be available for the formation of engaged couples.

Adult Formation
The Faith Connection®

Whole Community Catechesis
Online Resource

Sacrament Preparation
Eucharist and Reconciliation

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